Burkes R Us
The winning formula for the next election has suddenly become clear. All one side has to do is get Brian Burke to walk around the halls of Parliament House and greet people as they come out of their offices. Like some walking, man-sized ebola virus, every person whose hand he shakes will have their political and moral integrity instantly compromised, thus forcing them to commit hara-kiri to spare the credibility of their party from being eaten away.
Who knows, if Mr Burke can manage to say ‘gidday’ to the entire Coalition and ALP frontbench – perhaps ambushing them all by working the room at one of the many functions and dinners held around Parliament House during sitting weeks, unwittingly walking from person to person shaking their hands without warning – both major parties might become terminally compromised, finally providing the breakthrough minor political parties have dreamt of for decades. Maybe he could just walk into the middle of Question Time in both houses – he wouldn’t seem out of place (as long as he took that hat off) so he could probably stroll in, yell out an interjection or two and leave before anyone noticed that they’d all just been politically and morally compromised. If I locked myself in a Burke-proof room while this happened, I could even end up having the Parliament to myself!
As most readers would know, government Senator Ian Campbell has had his Ministerial position terminated as a result of his breaching the newly created, retrospective offence of Meeting With Brian Burke. Clearly, a government Minister having a Meeting With Brian Burke wasn’t an offence at the time Ian Campbell had his meeting, otherwise he would have had to run straight out of the room after Brian Burke unexpectedly turned up to ring the Prime Minister to inform him he had been politically and morally compromised and would have to resign forthwith.
Obviously, Meeting With Brian Burke did not have a politically and morally compromising impact in 2006. Ian Campbell managed to continue on as Environment Minister, morally unaffected by the compromising stain of having engaged in a conversation with Brian Burke. He even managed to perform his duties sufficiently well that the Prime Minister kept him in Cabinet after his recent reshuffle, despite the efforts of some of his colleagues to have him dumped.
However, like a political version of Dr Frankenstein, madly channelling the energy from a frenzy of political lightning bolts, the Treasurer managed to bring to life a malevolent new political sin, reaching backwards in time and retrospectively eating away the political and moral integrity of all who had dealings with Brian Burke.
Overnight, the long dormant Burke virus was brought to life by the frenzied Ministerial fiat of Peter ‘I’ve never met with a dodgy lobbyist in my life’ Costello, and Ian Campbell became morally and politically compromised.
To quote The Road to Surfdom, “how cretinous can our party political discourse become?” If ever you needed proof that parliamentary politics is only dimly connected to the real world, you don’t need to look past this current bout of manufactured political hysteria.
This sort of tactic will always makes some political commentators make assessments about how smart and clever John Howard is, as though grossly and hypocritically exaggerating an incident is a practice to be praised rather than dismissed with disdain. As Phillip Coorey, writing in the SMH, blandly notes, “Ian Campbell was sacked from cabinet on Saturday for doing nothing more than his job.” Another SMH writer, Peter Hartcher, describes Ian Campbell’s offence as getting in the way of “a prime minister trying to smear his opponent.”
The bizarreness of this scenario has led to some interesting variations in views amongst commentators in The Australian. Janet Albrechtsen attacks Rudd for admitting he had made a mistake in meeting Burke. Caroline Overington, describes the Prime Minister’s action as “hideously hypocritical”, while Dennis Shanahan’s column argues that “ministerial standards have been paradoxically resurrected”. (the headline for this column – political expediency restores standards – has to be a big chance of taking out this year’s Best Oxymoron in a Headline award).
Philip Coorey also made the assessment that while the Prime Minister “has made it a point of pride to stand beside ministers accused of far worse transgressions, including lying, ineptitude, deceit or corruption …. he is prepared to eat his own in his pursuit of Rudd.“
In amongst the blanket Sunday newspaper coverage, one ‘Cabinet Minister’ was quoted saying “the message to Kevin Rudd is, ‘I’ll bet you five and raise you five’,” making very clear that sacrificing people is just part and parcel of the ‘game’ of politics.
If he’ll sacrifice his own Ministers to stay in power, it should be no surprise that he’ll cast aside anyone else too. There’s no shortage of examples of course. People like David Hicks, hundreds of refugee children, people with disabilities, veterans – have all been sacrificed when it’s been politically advantageous or convenient to do so.
I live in hope that one day, we will see passionate public debate and frenzied media coverage about policies and issues that actually affect the public, instead of shallow talking points, manufactured division, deliberately orchestrated controversies and cartoonish character assessments.
However, for now it appears that substance, reality and a sense of proportionality will remain of minimal relevance when a ’scandal’ is afoot.
POSTSCRIPT: Tim Colebatch’s conclusion summarises this situation particularly well:
Last weekend I drove hundreds of kilometres through Australia’s parched farmland, past paddock after paddock bare of grass, wondering how the farmers could stay afloat. I drove through suburbs where young families have to spend almost half their income paying the mortgage.
In Albury-Wodonga, The Border Mail reported that 460 manufacturing jobs have been wiped out in the town in the past two years. Even with export prices at the best level since the 1950s, Australia continues to run one of the world’s biggest current account deficits, and spending $105 for every $100 it earns.
Australians will not be voting this year on what they think of Kevin Rudd meeting Brian Burke. Out in the real world, there are real issues, not phoney ones. To tackle them, we need real leadership, not this phoney stuff.
27 Comments, Comment or Ping
Donna
‘If he’ll sacrifice his own Ministers to stay in power, it should be no surprise that he’ll cast aside anyone else too.’
I think that’s why Howard’s term most likely will be coming to an end. He’s demonised just about everyone in the country. There’s no one left to insult.
I think also, that the Federal Government are being try hards. They’re trying too hard to overcome the criticism of being a government lacking in integrity and ethics. But they have no concept of what integrity looks like or sounds like. In their attempt of positioning Rudd as a morally bankrupt individual, they’re only demonstrating their own profound lack of morality in their pursuit.
Howard is backing himself into a corner on this one. I sense it might be his undoing.
Mar 5th, 2007
Another Andrew
I had thought we’d avoid the sort of explicit character assassination politics that has dominated US politics going back to Clinton’s impeachment, but it seems that Howard is intent on taking us down that path. Hopefully it won’t prove as effective here.
Mar 5th, 2007
Marilyn Shepherd
I loved the all tip and no iceberg jibe about Costello and that summed him up perfectly.
What it needs to be remembered is that all Brian Burke went to jail for was rorting his travel allowance. Hands up all those who think it is a rort for John Howard to live in Kirribilli instead of the Lodge for the past 11 years, even though his kids all left home years ago?
Or how about a jet for a walk on the beach? Or a side trip to the cricket while staying in a $9,000 a night swank hotel in London? What about all those body guards he pretends he needs? We pay for that you know.
I think the Australian editorial summed it up quite well and Overington’s piece wasn’t too bad.
But when I rang Campbell’s office late on Monday night his office answering machine was claiming he was the minister for Human Services.
Funny about that really. And Newspoll puts the ALP a full 14% in front.
Mar 6th, 2007
Graham Bell
Andrew Bartlett:
The two main casualties of this whole ridiculous circus are:
[1] The credibility of the mainstream news media.
Even the most disinterested are asking “Why don’t those people on TV ask Howard about …..?” and as each day passes and the most obvious questions continue to be unasked, the scorn and scepticism increase. Questions like “Yeah? What about all those meetings Howard had with Bush and Cheney? What sorts of deals did they cook up and not tell us about?”
[2] Howard.
Hot on the heels of the weird attack on US presidential aspirant Barack Obama, the problematic Cheney visit and worsening Hicks scandal, John Howard has shown the whole world that he really has lost to plot by carrying on like a pork-chop over Burke meeting Rudd. This was a back-benchers’ issue at best and for the Prime Minister himself to get enmired in it was downright silly and it’s getting sillier.
Wonder how longer it will be before Howard is forced to retire? Wonder who the Liberals will actually put up to hold onto the seat of Bennelong in the by-election? Wonder who will lead the Coalition into the next election? [No, it won't he Costello; not now].
Mar 6th, 2007
philip travers
You dont need my sense of humour here,but,Aaron Timms went on about a panama hat in the SMH.,and well,,loinged at the dessicated remains of the external reality of the all powerful Howard requires an abundance of anti panama hat jokes to agree with his standard of government operation.
Mar 6th, 2007
Geoff
Actually K.Rudd has told quite a few fibs and is a world class hypocrite.
A point I think the Libs have clumsily been trying to get noticed.
I note Campbell was killed by friendly fire from Costello.
Personally I think Howard should have handed-over this term.
Mar 6th, 2007
ken
Very amusing Andrew. The beauty of our systme is that the wheel eventually turns, as it has in the past and will in the future.
All those desperaetly hangin on become King Canutes, just as this lot are and the lot befoer them and the lot we have here in NSW.
The PM has fallen victim to the oldest human weakness – the sunk cost fallcy. Generally reserved for aging footballers and boxers, but well erpresneted in the political field.
Mar 6th, 2007
Austin
“get Brian Burke to walk around the halls of Parliament House and greet people as they come out of their offices.”
Please, I would really desire this to happen! Oh, would it make my day.
Mar 6th, 2007
Mark
I wonder what Ian Campbell will think about all this in three weeks’ time? He’s just been thrown to the wolves, but the wolves don’t care. And Ruddock is stolidly taking the punches, aware that nobody really cares about this desperate, artificial attack. If the media had savaged Campbell, then just perhaps the fury might have spilled over to anyone else tarred with the same brush. But poor Ian Campbell is standing there waving a little white flag wondering where the kaboom is.
P.S. Can somebody tell me who is Brian Burke?
Mar 6th, 2007
Elizabeth
And there it is in a nutshell:
Quoting Mark above “Can somebody tell me who is Brian Burke?”
Who indeed – not too many people outside of WA would know or care who Brian Burke is – or see why it’s even remotely relevant that Kevin Rudd had dinner with him.
What they are seeing though is rather desperate attempt by the Prime Minister to smear his opposition rather than face him squarely on the issues.
Not a good look John.
Mar 6th, 2007
Denis - Brisbane
“Can somebody tell me who is Brian Burke?”
No one will care after today, but there will be plenty of people in the all-important Queensland electorate who know Gary Hardgrave, Andrew Laming and Ross Vasta.
You gotta love the timing.
Will the PM now accuse AFP of being involved in a secret conspiracy with the ALP?
Mar 6th, 2007
Lynette2
“man-sized ebola virus” heh.
Andrew, despite your hope that one day real issues will get this level of attention, you’re obviously enjoying this spectacle as much as any of us. It’s way better than soap opera, which has to at least vaguely resemble real life.
I love the hypocracy of the coalition’s behaviour – their chosen method of questioning Rudd’s suitability for the highest office in the land. They seem to be suggesting that Rudd is not only dishonest, but staggeringly lacking in clownishness.
Mar 6th, 2007
Sean M
I’m not sure what it is Andrew, but your posts always give me a sense of hope with regards to Australian Politics. That people such as yourself are representing us means that not all is lost. Yet.
Mar 6th, 2007
Jon
Mark said “P.S. Can somebody tell me who is Brian Burke? ”
That was my question, too, when I first heard this story. It took me a while to work it out, but when I did I just had to laugh. I can’t believe John Howard tried to attack someone (anyone) on an issue of honesty or ethics.
And then it just got stranger – Ian Campbell getting sacked because of one meeting while Alexander Downer and Mark Vaille managed to survive AWB? That’s just bizarre.
So maybe they got a bit of mud to stick to Kevin Rudd, but I think the government definitely came off worse this time.
Mar 6th, 2007
Geoff
It may be just as bizarre or maybe hypocritical that K.Rudd expects thenm to remember things when he can’t.
Or maybe bizarre and hypocritical that he can call people liars when they forget things and he expects people to believe him when he says he forgets things.
Mar 6th, 2007
John Mc Beath
Brilliant comedic stuff. I laughed out loud. If this is the best Howard can do to try and damage Rudd, we’re bound to see a change of government after 11 long years.
Mar 6th, 2007
Christopher
I cannot tell a lie. I passed Brian Burke in the corridor of the WA Parliament c1984 while on a tour. It gets worse. I was in the same University College when Julian Grill became the first student expelled from it in 1963. So, you are all now comprimised forever.
If anyone has spent time in WA one will learn that Brian Burke’s brother Terry was an MLA and their father Tom was MHR for Perth in the 1950s, so if you can find a political figure who has not met a Burke you will be doing well.
Mar 6th, 2007
nasking
“If he’ll sacrifice his own Ministers to stay in power, it should be no surprise that he’ll cast aside anyone else too. There’s no shortage of examples of course. People like David Hicks, hundreds of refugee children, people with disabilities, veterans – have all been sacrificed when it’s been politically advantageous or convenient to do so.”
Well said Andrew…add military & intelligence experts (incl.Lieutenant Colonel Lance Collins), Schapelle Corby (I see there’s a mad rush by the ‘cold as ice twins’ to have her brought home now…how bloody convenient!)…the Bali Nine (some dobbed in by Federal Police over there rather than being stopped here)…Renewable Energy Companies (forced overseas in order to keep his fossil fuel mates happy & in turn get their support)…it’s a long list Too many have been swept aside, neglected or scapegoated in order for the Rodent to remain on his throne.
It’s reassuring to finally watch the AWAKENING & see the pretender tremble.
Mar 6th, 2007
David T
The people in Albury Wodonga and now Elizabth in S.A. who have lost their jobs and the many thousands of families trying to hold the RBA priced mortgage together deserve to know the real truth about Australian style democracy. The Burke revelations show Labor are selective as to who get pre-selected as are the Liberals.If you are not on the A list you’re not “in”. Perhaps a few heads may turn toward the minor parties this time round?
Mar 6th, 2007
Paul Walter
I want to know why its ok for for one senator who uses Burke and Grill for lobbying (Johnson) to be a Howard minister but not another, (Campbell). Or is Campbell really being sacked for being bought off over sacrificing the rare parrots on a WA mining site after allowing another rare species protection in ALP Victoria?
Denis’ comment over Hardgrave and co I thought was so relevent. Then there are all the ministerial rorts uncovered a few years ago, like Dee-Anne Kelly.
Then there was Turnbull’s nasty antic of a fortnight ago and the stuff involving Ron Walker and co as they attempt to impose nuclear reactors on the country, not for the good of OZ, but for the venal advantage of a few mega-rich.
The hypocrisy acqires such a stench as to induce OVERWHELMING nausea.
Mar 7th, 2007
ken
Your kidding Paul – Campbell was asacekd (sacrificed) in the wild panic of a hope that Rudd (or more importanly some of the otehr roosters) might panic and do something silly. He didn’t and so it has gone on. Forget about trying to compare with otehr past events. Its called thrashing around – ever seen big fish in a net.
There is nothing like pollies acting weirdly under perssure – its the classic chooks with heads cut off syndrome.
Mar 7th, 2007
red crab
ah come on now dont you think that the lib govt is doing a great job.
cant thank them enough for the g.s.t.
and the war in the middle east now theres something to be proud off.
and mabe that our kids wont be able to buy a home in the future.
how about that our kids cant afford to go to uni .
but i realy think that the world as we know it is about to end because rudd had lunch with brian burke.
Mar 9th, 2007
RH
thought you’d like this
http://typingisnotactivism.wordpress.com/2007/05/03/john-howards-integrity-ruled-non-existent-by-ebay/
May 3rd, 2007